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Supporting Siblings and Young Carers of ALN Children in Wales

By Steph Shobiye ALN Wales

 

Supporting Siblings and Young Carers of ALN Children in Wales


When a child has additional learning needs (ALN) – whether autism, ADHD, or another condition – brothers and sisters often experience a mix of emotions. They may feel left out or jealous that their sibling gets more attention, or guilty and confused as they watch their family struggle. In fact, researchers note that siblings “may not fully understand what is happening… They may feel guilty… or feel like they aren’t as important”childmind.org. It helps to talk openly: encourage the well sibling to ask questions and express their worries. Reassure them that their feelings are valid. Schedule one-on-one time with each child so the healthy sibling knows they are loved for who they are, not just as a carer or playmate. Affirm that neither of them caused the situation – ALN is just how their sibling’s brain works, and not anyone’s fault.

Support and Balance. Siblings who also act as carers need extra care themselves. A young carer should never be overloaded with adult responsibilities. Give them breaks from chores: let them be a child (homework, playdates, hobbies) without feeling guilty. Involve them in caregiving only with their consent and ability. For example, a teen might help by entertaining a younger ALN sibling for short periods. But always check they’re comfortable – and provide supervision or respite activities through young carers services so they aren’t alone coping. It can also help to register the child with the GP as a young carer – many surgeries record “Young carer under 18” as a status digital.nhs.uk. This alerts medical staff to their role and may trigger extra support (like annual flu jabs or referral to local services).

Explaining Diagnoses Kindly. When telling siblings about an ALN diagnosis, use clear, gentle language. You don’t need clinical jargon; focus on behaviors and feelings. For example, “Your sister has autism – her brain sees and feels things differently. Sometimes she gets upset or needs quiet time, and that’s why things can be hard for her”childmind.org. Framing it simply (e.g. “he just needs extra help with…” or “her body feels overwhelmed sometimes”) helps children understand without fear. Emphasize that the diagnosis isn’t their sibling’s fault and doesn’t change how much they’re loved. Offer books or stories about other children with similar needs if the sibling is old enough to read.

Coping with Guilt or Anxiety. Siblings may experience “survivor’s guilt” – feeling envious or asking “why them, not me?” Reassure them that every child has some challenges; it’s just that their siblings are more visible. Give plenty of praise and attention to the well sibling’s own achievements. Remind them that they, too, deserve care and happiness. Keeping routines and family traditions (like special outings or meals together) can reinforce that each child is equally important. If they express guilt or anger, listen empathetically and consider sibling support groups (many areas have Sibling Support sessions or short breaks so brothers and sisters can meet peers in similar situations).

Safeguarding and Bullying. Sometimes siblings feel responsible for protecting or speaking up for an ALN child, especially if the disabled child is bullied. Make clear that it’s not the sibling’s job to police others. Teach all your children safe ways to respond to bullying: talk to parents, teachers or helplines. If a sibling is being bullied (online or at school) because of family disability, reassure them it’s not their fault. You can use resources like Kidscape or Childline’s bullying section and even get a Young Carer ID card (via Carers Trust Cymru) to help professionals understand their role. Always report serious bullying. Here in Wales, you can alert Childline or Meic for advice on cyberbullying and school issues.

Welsh Law and Young Carers’ Rights. In Wales, young carers have legal rights. Under the Social Services & Well-being (Wales) Act 2014, local councils must offer a needs assessment to any child giving care if it appears they need support carers.org. This is true even if the council thinks the care is “minor” – as soon as there’s regular caring, the child is entitled to an assessment. After assessment they may get respite, counselling or other help. Importantly, a young carer can also be seen as a “child in need”, requiring support in their own right carers.org. In practice, this means social services should step in if the sibling’s school or emotional life is suffering. You can request a Young Carer’s Needs Assessment from social services or ask your GP to refer them (GPs can code young carers on their system digital.nhs.uk).

Practical Tips: Keep communication open and positive. Consider registering both children as patients at a GP or optician under the same family address – doctors can then spot any extra strain on the well sibling. As mentioned, mention if a child is a carer when registering with the GPdigital.nhs.uk. Encourage hobbies or clubs outside caring: maybe your non-ALN child can have a subsidized place in Guides/Scouts, sports, music, etc. Check if there’s a short-breaks scheme or funding for the family – many Welsh local authorities offer grants or trips for siblings of disabled kids. Finally, remind siblings that caring is kind but it’s okay to say “I need help too” – their needs matter.

Local Sibling & Young Carer Services in Wales

Each Welsh county has support for siblings and young carers (often run by councils or charities). (Where possible we list Welsh/Wales-specific projects; otherwise UK charities.)

  • Blaenau Gwent: Blaenau Gwent Young Carers project – Freephone 08000 323339blaenau-gwent.gov.uk.

  • Bridgend: Bridgend Carers Centre – Young Carers Service (ages 5–25)bridgendcarers.co.uk.

  • Caerphilly: Barnardo’s Young Carers (Caerphilly) – Tel. 01633 612712blaenau-gwent.gov.uk.

  • Cardiff: YMCA Cardiff – “Time 4 Me” Young Carers Project. Contact Cardiff YMCA on 02920 465250 (ext. 211) or email cardiffyoungcarers@ymcacardiff.walesymcacardiff.wales.

  • Carmarthenshire: Carers Support West Wales – Carmarthenshire Young Carers Service (for those caring for a parent or sibling)carerssupportwestwales.org.

  • Ceredigion: Gofalwyr Ceredigion (Credu) – Young Carers Service for Ceredigion (for 8–25 yr olds; email ceredigion@credu.cymru, 03330 143377)gofalwyrceredigioncarers.cymrugofalwyrceredigioncarers.cymru.

  • Conwy/Denbighshire/Wrexham (North East Wales): WCD (Credu Wales – Young Carers Co-op) covers Conwy, Denbighshire & Wrexham. Contact info@wcdyc.org.uk or 03330 143377wcd.cymru.

  • Flintshire: NEWCIS Young Carers – supports all Flintshire carers up to 25newcis.org.uk. (Flintshire Council’s new service is delivered by NEWCIS and offers a single point of accessflintshire.gov.uk.)

  • Gwynedd: Action for Children – Gwynedd Young Carers Project (Ph. 01248 364614)gwynedd.llyw.cymru.

  • Isle of Anglesey (Sir Ynys Môn): Action for Children – Ynys Môn Young Carers, via Isle of Anglesey CC’s Teulu Môn (home and community support). Call Teulu Môn on 01248 725888anglesey.gov.wales.

  • Merthyr Tydfil: Merthyr Young Carers Service (at Civic Centre, Castle St). Ph. 01685 725171merthyr.gov.uk.

  • Monmouthshire: Carers Trust South East Wales – Young Carers (Monmouthshire). Tel. 01495 367028blaenau-gwent.gov.uk.

  • Neath Port Talbot: NPT Young Carers Service (Families First team). Email Joel Davies at j.davies@npt.gov.uk or phone 01639 763030npt.gov.uk.

  • Newport: Barnardo’s Newport Young Carers – Tel. 01633 251192blaenau-gwent.gov.uk.

  • Pembrokeshire: Action for Children – Pembrokeshire Young Carers (ages 8–25)pembrokeshire.gov.uk. Also Pembrokeshire Sibling Group (ages 7–18) – email enquiries@pembrokeshire-sibling-group.org.ukcarerssupportwestwales.org.

  • Powys: Credu (Powys Carers) – support for young carers in Powys. Tel. 01597 823800 or email carers@credu.cymruen.powys.gov.uk.

  • Rhondda Cynon Taf: RCT Young Carers Service – Tel. 01443 425006rctcbc.gov.uk (and ask for the Young Carers Project).

  • Swansea: YMCA Swansea – Young Carers Service (ages 8–18)swansea.gov.uk. (This is linked from Swansea Council’s carers page.)

  • Torfaen: Torfaen Young Carers – Tel. 01495 762200blaenau-gwent.gov.uk.

  • Vale of Glamorgan: YMCA Cardiff – Vale Young Carers Project. Referral via Families First helpline: 0800 0327322 (familiesfirstadviceline@valeofglamorgan.gov.uk)ymcacardiff.wales.

  • Wrexham: As above (WCD service) – email info@wcdyc.org.uk or 03330 143377wcd.cymru.

In addition, the following Wales-wide or UK charities offer sibling/carer support:

Helplines & Online Support:
 Remember Meic, the Welsh helpline for under-25s (phone/text/webchat from 8am–midnight): 0808 80 23456
carers.org. It can help with any issue (including bullying or mental health).
ChildLine (for under-19s) offers advice 24/7 at 0800 1111childline.org.uk.
 Samaritans (all ages) is free on 116 123 for listening supportsamaritans.org.
If online bullying is a concern, websites like Kidscape or the Anti-Bullying Alliance can help; ChildLine’s site also has cyberbullying advice.
For immediate harm or suicidal thoughts, call 999 or contact Papyrus (HOPELINEUK, 0800 068 4141).

We hope these pointers and services help you support all your children. You are not alone – many parents are finding creative ways to balance care and keep family bonds strong. Comment below to share more links or ideas. Please join the Learn Without Limits FB group and visit our website for ALN support in Waleslearnwithoutlimitscic.org. We’re stronger together!

Sources: Authoritative guides on sibling emotionschildmind.org   childmind.org; Welsh carer law and rightscarers.orgcarers.org; Welsh local support services carerssupportwestwales.org merthyr.gov.uk blaenau-gwent.gov.uk ymcacardiff.walesen. powys.gov.uk, etc. All referenced above.

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